6/17/12

Actual writings for 6/17/12

Well, yet another new day has come. I was able to sleep until they were serving breakfast, which was nice. I had some crazy dream last night, though. The most realistic one was the one in which I was trying to hide from the warrant squad at my house. I was sneaking around the yard as different cops came and went. I finally made it inside my house to try to hide somewhere, but they came in and found me. I also vaguely recall a dream about a party. I was with my parents, and there was alcohol for days (not really all that exciting to me). In another one, it was a retail store setting again. I don't really know why these have been so prevalent, or maybe I do...

Okay, so when I first became "homeless" for real, on May 1st, everything had to change. I had no more Dani, no more car, no more help. The first of May, I called John H. He came up to Phoenixville, and traded in some of the DVDs that I had. Eventually, I ended up in Brookhaven, which was a bit uncomfortable. So, I had enough money to make it to 30th Street Station.

I caught the bus to the mall, and then the one to 69th Street Terminal, and caught the MFL to 30th Street. I decided to walk towards Drexel. Somehow I convinced the security guard at the front that I was still a student, and somehow manage to talk my way into the library. The best part is that it was midterm week, and the library was open 24 hours. I stayed in the library for the entire week, stealing food from Wawa and 7-11, and selling clothes at Buffalo Exchange to get some cash. My days consisted of going to different stores, getting items, and selling them. This worked out for awhile, actually. After some time, they told me that they couldn't keep buying all of the stuff I was bringing in. Around this same time, it was no longer really possible to continue to stay at Drexel (I think they figured out what was going on). This is around the time that I met Carlos.

Carlos was walking down the street with a few guys when he saw me panhandling late one night. He gave me a couple dollars, and then I joined everybody in conversation. Once his company left, he invited me to stay at his place. He told me that I could have a place to lay down and take a shower and whatnot (which I hadn't in over a week probably). He was an older gay guy, but I didn't feel threatened in that sense. He lived down around Broad and Federal.

----------

Okay, back to my writing. Somebody had borrowed the pen for a couple hours, so I've just been reading "My Name Is Asher Lev" all day. Its a pretty interesting book, which I didn't expect. I have already reached page 237 today, and I am a very slow reader usually. This is mainly because I haven't really even left my cell all day, and had no pen to write with. Reading was really my only option. It has certainly helped pass the time, as darkness is about to fall outside. I am happy to be so close to Monday now. I have a good feeling that something will happen tomorrow. Whether it be seeing a doctor, social worker, or getting transferred, it doesn't matter to me. Any one of those things would be an enormous help for my mental well being. The doctor could put me on some meds to calm me down, the social worker could tell me what the hell is going on, and getting transferred obviously means that I'm one step closer to getting out of jail. At the very least, WB will help me call and see what's holding me here. I did give CO Grimes a staff request slip, so I'm hopeful that I can see a social worker.

So, back to Carlos. He was a really nice dude. All we really did all day was smoke Tina and watch either a movie or Twilight Zone episodes on DVD. Then the second day I'm staying with him, he invites this guy Paul over. Paul is a bit ridiculous. He comes over and just starts throwing money around, literally. He gives me $80 and buys me a carton of Newports for no real reason, other than to show that he has money. I would have continued to talk to him, but I didn't want to upset Carlos.

After about four days, Carlos is told that he has ten days to leave his room because he hasn't paid his rent. That's my signal to leave. He was able to lend me $5, which I regrettably never paid back (I used it to get high, of course), and this is when I'm back out on the streets. What I'm neglecting to mention is how I was buying dope during these few days. The $80 covered a couple days. But, I also took some of the change scattered around the apartment (which I'm not proud of).

----------

That is all that I wrote while locked up. So, continuing on, I have actually contacted Carlos since being out of jail. I was hoping he could give me a haircut, because he is really good. However, I just buzzed my hair myself two days ago, so maybe once it grows out a little bit more. It was very kind of him to give me a safe place to stay for awhile. Its my understanding that he's basically homeless, and stays somewhere for $20 or so a night.

This part of the story takes place around Mother's Day, because I remember calling my mom, and being in tears trying to tell her how sorry I was. I actually had that Paul guy buy a card for me to send to her, but I never got around to sending it out, because I was too busy worrying about getting high. I'm sure there are some other things that I'm neglecting to mention, but that's all I can really think of for now.