6/18/12

Writings from 6/18/12

I know that I should have gotten to writing earlier today, but it was quite a hectic and upsetting day. I was woken up at 3:30 AM for court, and told to pack my stuff. I was finally getting out of Philadelphia. I got my tray of grits and potatoes around 4:45 and then went to receiving. We sat there until 8:30 AM. After a few more pickups at the other jails on State Road, we were on our way to Norristown, for my bench warrant hearing. The ride was extremely uncomfortable, but I was in good spirits. One of the sheriffs said to me, "You're just a bench warrant, you will probably be getting out today." I was elated, and immediately began to form plans in my mind about leaving the Norristown courthouse. 

However, that didn't even come close to happening. I got there and was put into a cell with another guy who was picked up that morning over a child support warrant. We got to talking while trying to stay warm in that ridiculously cold holding cell. I ate three mystery meat sandwiches, and before I knew it, I was being led into a courtroom. To be short, I fucked up. I told the truth about why I missed court, which I probably shouldn't have. This meant telling the judge that I was homeless. I should have just said that I was to resume living at my house, but I froze. Then, the judge gave me a $5000 cash bail. My heart and soul basically died. It was a feeling that I had never really felt before, and is extremely hard to explain. It was a mix of panic, confusion, anger, hopelessness. Looks like that month that I had prepared in my mind as the worst case scenario was going to be trumped. Who knows when I'll get out now.

So, off to MCCF. The bus ride wasn't bad. At least we got to listen to some music. I couldn't help but feeling that this ride would be my last time seeing the real world for a little while. We passed by Wawa, and I took notice of all the signage. I wanted to run in and get some Newports. But no, not today. Not this month, lucky if by my birthday. So, while listening to the music, I began to feel as if this were my new existence. 

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That was a really short entry, but with reason. I couldn't really accept the situation that I was put in. I couldn't believe that my bail would be even higher than it was in Philly, and I didn't know how things worked. I was pretty sure that nobody would call a bail bondsman for me to bail me out, so this was the beginning of the awful waiting game, as will be detailed in upcoming posts.